Monday, November 19, 2012

Contagion of Empathy.

"So there I was, killing them softly with my song.  Or rather being killed.  And not that softly either.  I was singing with my eyes closed.  Was I frightened?  I was petrified."




I love this scene.  It's from About a Boy, a film I was initially pretty lukewarm about.  I found Toni Collette and Nicholas Hoult to be too strange looking and Hugh Grant was too cloying.  (Yes, I know this was the point, but it was much like my hatred of Frank Burns on MASH when I was a kid.  You're supposed to hate him, but my hate for him made it impossible to see beyond it.)

When I saw the film again a few years later I found it quite charming.  I was able to overlook what I'd found vexing before and see how right the film makers had gotten it.  I love how the jaded Will somehow lets himself fall prey to a misfit kid.  I love how the suicidal mother that is supposed to be so self-aware and determined to take on the world is oblivious to the way that same world actually works.  And of course, what is there not to love about a clueless lost boy being the one to make the maladjusted fit for public consumption?

This scene is one where characters sacrifice the need to look cool.  They throw it out the window because it will please someone else.  It's masochistic, really.  Such an act would've been devastating for a kid like Marcus that was already a social pariah.  For Will, such an act could've made his mind explode with self revelation.  Because of the magic of movies, however, it all turns out just fine.  Marcus is not the biggest freak on the stage, so he wins a few points with the loser boys in the audience.  Will's willingness to drop all pretense makes his dream girl realize he's not such a shallow lost cause after all.  The mother in the Yeti jacket is left pretty much unchanged, but even cinematic efficacy can't win them all.

A variation of a theme.


People give Coldplay a lot of shit, and that's okay.  We all have our preferences.  These are most likely the same people that are terribly vexed by Morrissey, finding him to be a whining malcontent. 

For John Waynes out there, the concept of letting someone else protect and love you is just too foreign to bear.  For some of us, the desire to fix all of those we come across with secret pain is a pull we can't resist.

The truth of the matter is that at some point in life, all people will need someone to try to fix them. This isn't weakness.  Wise choices about those we love is a feat of great strength.  Trusting someone to assuage vulnerability isn't weakness.  Offering trust is a risk so intense that it is really one of the bravest things anyone can do.  Loving with a heart so big it can withstand someone else's heartache is the quietest form of fortitude.  

If you wish to neither be fixed nor fix someone else, that is up to you, but be aware that it doesn't make you an impervious hero.  Living a lonely life within an impenetrable fortress shows only that you need someone to fix you.






"Light will guide you home" - it takes on a whole new meaning when sung by an 83 year old man.

Equine Marmalade.

This horse can totally take on a unicorn any day.


As a kid I thought nothing could possibly be better than a dancing horse.  I'd heard about them but never seen any proof that they were real.  As one of the most amazing birthday gifts I've ever received my boyfriend surprised me by taking me to a Lippizzaner show.  As brilliant as that was I don't think anything could possibly top the horse here.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Can love and joy be proven by experiment?

Mr. and Mrs. Feynman

I love the idea of this couple.  I love the way they choose to give one another the world.  Through science and reason they give one another love and beauty at every turn.  It is a tremendous treasure to be given an aurora.  


Lisa hearts Jeff. Jeff is pretty "meh" in return. A match made in cinematic heaven.

A most romantic film.  The main character chides a beautiful woman for being shallow and inept.  He falls in love with her after she is nearly murdered trying to win the attention he'd been paying to a neighbor's flowers.  He could be spending sensual evenings with this devoted woman but instead gives his focus to the newlyweds next door, the showgirl across the courtyard, and the desperately lonely wallflower that pines away in her basement apartment.  The loneliest person in the film is the girl that's supposed to have it all.  Fret not.  In the end all is well.  The beautiful socialite gets her man, knowing she can prove her love by risking her life to satisfy his whims or by tending to him as an invalid.  With his permission she is permitted to be smitten with this wonderful, wheelchair-bound voyeur. All that he asks in return is that she hide every part of her that he doesn't like.

This version appropriately shows the time it takes for the giddy magic of new love to become something sustainable:


Monday, November 5, 2012

A small huckleberry salute.


...And I was thinking about my river days 
I was thinking about me and Jim 
Passing Cairo on a getaway 
With every steamboat like a hymn 

Out on the desert now 
I'm feeling lost 
The bonnet wears a wire albatross 
Monster ballads and the stations of the cross 
Sighing just a little bit 
Smiling just a little bit...

A small Veteran's Day salute.