I've always found the feeling of "leave them wanting more" to be almost unbearably disappointing. There are times when I'm talking with special friends and it makes me very sad because I know that it will be a long time before it happens again. Not really a fan of being satisfied with what I'm offered. I'd much prefer to be satiated than merely tantalized by a small portion of gopher.
I seem to mourn the loss of any thing that I adore. Take away my Doctor and I turn into the same Weeping Angel that just tried to send an entire village back in time. When Buffy ended I actually went outside and cried. It's not like I was a teenager. I wasn't even the same age as the Buffy characters. The re-runs were on their way --syndication had already begun -- but it wasn't the same.
Nope. I want trivia nights with former co-workers to go on until the wee hours. I want drinks with gossipy girlfriends to extend far past the end of a work day. I want prolonged telephone calls filled with nonsense and silly jokes, just as if we were really together hanging out. It doesn't happen, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it. I am hopeful that I am able to hold my disappointment of "until we meet again" in check; that it's not as painfully obvious as it is inside my own head.
I'll try to pretend I'm content enough, but it's not really true. Just let me be selfish. I don't want a gopher sampling. Find me a whole damn gopher village.
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