Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Wisdom of Sarah Silverman.
The other night on The Marriage Ref, a couple was sparring because the wife's best friend was a straight man. They'd been friends forever, well before the husband and wife met. He had an issue with the friendship, and wanted the wife to sever ties.
I know, from experience, that this sort of thing is common. Ever since grade school, my closest friends have been male. I've never thought anything of it. Once or twice, these things evolved into something more than platonic. This easily could have been prevented, though. These evolutions were things that were allowed, not things that "just happened," not things that were inevitable. They were choices, and choices that could just as easily have been avoided.
I've been with my fiance for nearly eight years. He's never taken issue with my male friends. It's not like I don't have girl friends, but the five people in my life I'm closest to, the ones I'm completely honest with and share the bulk of my time with, are all men. He's like me in this respect, too. Typically friends with women instead of men. All the friends he's made at work over the last few years have been girls. It's never occurred to me to be bothered by this; I'm just happy that he's made friends and has people in his life that he enjoys. It drives some of the people I work with crazy because I'm going to spend a weekend with a male friend this summer. They're aghast, like I'm some sort of callous whore, out to to wound. What baffles them equally is that when I've been unable to take time off work, I've encouraged him to go on vacation with one of his girl friends. I just don't see the malfeasance that others seem to think this intimates.
I don't know what the upshot on Marriage Ref was the other night. I turned it off because it irritated me. I did catch Sarah Silverman's input, though, and found it to be perfectly brilliant. She said she believed that a person who doesn't consider cheating to be a likelihood for themselves wouldn't consider it for others. They're not jealous people. They trust because that's the point of view that's organic. Perhaps it is the jealous that "protest too much." The jealous see dangerous potential, because they view all of life that way, with potential and temptation.
Funny who becomes a role model if you're willing to listen to what they have to say.