Sunday, April 25, 2010

Awkward Breakups.

I've never understood people that choose to have difficult conversations in public places. We've all unintentionally been privy to these somewhat hushed and then waaay too loud conversations between couples. Sometimes it's a test-the-waters trial reconciliation, sometimes it's an irrational argument that ends with someone storming out, and every now and again you get the super-awkward breakup. The worst I have ever witnessed was the ending of a relationship that took place at Disneyland. Seriously, the Happiest Place on Earth.

Not all of the details were apparent. At a table adjacent to my own at the Blue Bayou Restaurant (the one inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride), was seated an early twenty-something doting boy and his less than enthused female companion. While the animatronic man o' the bayou played "O Susanna" on a loop, the girl spoke in stern quiet words. The guy gasped audibly, his voice broke as he choked out, "But why?" There were more incomprehensible feminine words, followed by even higher pitched plaintive "b.b.but's" and "I don't believe you really mean this's." All the while, families in mouse ears are scarfing down cajun-esque food and soaking up air conditioning. Pirates are chanting about the yo-ho life for them and there are too many rolling "R"s and "mateys" to keep track of in the air. I don't know how this eventually played out. After a few very awful sniffling minutes, the waitress returned to their table with the credit card (and yes, to make this even worse, he had paid), and the no-longer-a-couple left.

I've thought about this event way too many times over the years. Who thinks this is a good idea? The duo was obviously at the park together, and it doesn't make any sense that they would have driven there separately. To have this make any sort of sense, I have always gone with the assumption that the two were local, so at least there wasn't a hotel check-out and travel that had to be done together afterwards. At the very least, there was the walk to the car, and the ride home for these people to have to endure with one another. It just makes no sense that this girl would have done this at this location. Who picks an amusement park for a break-up? I don't even get the whole public place thing, but really, Disneyland? I imagine this sensitive fella in his youth, totally enamored with Mickey Mouse and the gang, and totally in love with all the adventure that Disney tales provide. He probably had a 'coon skin cap and an Indian head dress. And it goes without saying in my invented story for them, he was a devoted swashbuckler. The Pirates was probably his most favorite ride of all time. And now, the place of his dreams was turned into a place of heartbreak and sorrow. I don't know the story behind these two; he could have been the world's biggest prick for all I know. It's just really, really wrong to break someone's heart at Mickey Mouse's California home, no matter your motivation.

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